I feel so lost in this world man
I just feel my life is no longer the same anymore
I'm no longer the Joanie you knew in BPS
No longer the same Joanie anymore
I really feel that I'm losing everything
I'm losing all my friends gradually
We used to be close like tape sticking together
But, now we are as far apart as Earth from Sun
As we go on in life
We will lose old friends and meet new friends
But, this is not what I want
I want to keep some of my friends for life!
But, why is it so difficult~
Or is it because I didn't put in enough effort?
Or am I just plain stubborn to face reality??
That there's no such thing as friends forever..
I really feel I'm not myself recently
I try hard to be myself
But I just can't
I try hard to please everyone
But I just can't
What's wrong with my life??
Why can't I live life the way I want it to be??
Why must I always have so many problems??
Why am I Joan at the first place??
Why do I even live in this world??
Do I belong to this world??
Or was it a mistake??
Sometimes I really wished I'm not Joan,
Not that sickening Joan everyone know
Then at least everyone will be happy without my presence
Sigh
Sigh
Sigh
lastly, just wanna thanks Kars for everything
She has been there for me, when I needed a friend most..
thanks...I really appreciate it
